Goldilocks and the Exploding Teapots

I had thought it was a harmless quirk of Celestial Seasonings that they were offering blueberry tea, but on the contrary, it appears that I have spotted a trend. Now available at Starbucks is Shaken Blueberry White Iced Tea. It is described as follows: "Freshly brewed [1] delicate [2] white tea leaves infused with natural blueberry and cranberry flavors."

For some, this may prove to be a concoction too tame to satisfy the adrenaline requirements of a workday morning. In that case, you can order a cup of Blueberries & Crème Frappuccino® Blended Crème[3]: "The great taste of real blueberries combined with milk and blended with ice, topped with whipped cream (optional)."

Now, "blueberry tea" is a very delicate proposition. It is not impossible to make an herbal tea out of berries, but the trick is that they must hide behind the dominant flavor; they cannot define it. The taste of berries, flavorful and expansive (bursting, even), is, I would say, nearly the exact opposite of the taste of tea or coffee, which is bitter and contained. Even the suggestion of a tea that turns blue or pink, as if the berries were dropped inside to melt of their own accord -- and this, without even taking into account the addition of a whipped cream topping -- is obscene.

Thank you.

[1] That is a lie.

[2] So delicate that it can travel unharmed to all 13,000 Starbucks locations.

[3] [sic] on the redundant "crème."

Comments

[mike]

Where does the "shaken" come in? Do the barristas shake it like a martini when you order it? Or are the blueberries shaken independently before they are "added" to the tea?

[Avery Palmer]

When I go undercover at Starbucks, I'll let you know.

[nub]

for the record, here are the teas that i keep in my office at work:

- celestial seasonings green tea with goji berry and pomegranate (my current favorite)
- celestial seasonings "pefectly pear" white tea
- celestial seasonings "lemon zinger" green tea
- celestial seasonings black cherry berry

in other words, i defy you with my fruity goodness.

[Blueberry recipe]

Came across your blog its sound good....
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